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Saturday, December 24, 2016

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Episode 137: H2Overrated

Also, when you talk to him next spell his name with a “ph” instead of a “f” -- I don’t know if it pisses him off or not, but if enough of us spell it that way it will. As you’re reading this I want you to know two things. One, I’m on my second day of no beer and it sucks. Two, I just had fresh spinach, mushrooms, and bell peppers with a homemade mustard dressing. It’s very simple to make. You just add mustard, apple cider vinegar, and some olive oil to each and stir the shit out it. You might wondering why I wanted you to know this and that simple: I’m on a fucking diet and I fucking hate it. I don’t really hate the food I’m eating or even the going without beer. What I hate is looking into my fridge and not knowing what I can eat or how much of it I can eat. I can still drink coffee though, so life’s not all bad. do about it.


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Dave image used with permission, courtesy of @ThatFrakkingCat
Episode description written by @AvailableInADHD

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Episode 136 Suzi Ruffell / just the Hosts

It’s funny how things work out sometimes. Sometimes you think you can do anything, like write episode descriptions for a friend’s podcast because he clearly struggles with English and I’m assuming his German isn’t as good as he says it is either. There’s nothing wrong that though. I mean most people come to this show to listen to That Frakking Cat anyway. It’s not that Rafael isn’t cool. It’s the Cat is cooler. I believe this is what the kids call roasting. Can I ask you a personal question? Does anyone read these? If you do, can you let Rafael know? Tell him I deserve a raise. Or let me know directly. Best way to get ahold of me is snapchat: availableinadhd. Yes, I just plugged in the episode description and yes there’s nothing Rafael can do about it.

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Dave image used with permission, courtesy of @ThatFrakkingCat
Episode description written by @AvailableInADHD

Monday, September 12, 2016

Episode 134 Eddie Brill returns

This week Eddie Brill returns to We Are Not Here To Please You. Okay, I have to be honest with you. Sometimes I feel bad for Raphael. He sends me these audio files and expects me to listen to them before I write the episode descriptions. And every time I have the best of intentions. But you know what they say about good intentions? I mean I've heard the previous shows with Eddie Brill and they were really good. He's funny guy. Part of me would be ashamed of writing an episode description of an episode I haven't heard, but I already know how few people actually read these. I mean it's a simple formula really: use words you think people would search for. Like "Eddie Brill" and "funny" and "Finland" and... you get the point. And fuck all that for right now... My drink is empty and needs to be refilled. Plus it's late at night, which actually doesn't really much, but it's a thing to say. Don't judge me.

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Dave image used with permission, courtesy of @ThatFrakkingCat
Episode description written by @AvailableInADHD

Episode 133: Gallifrey Stands Revenge

Let’s get down to brass tacks, I haven’t even listened to this episode yet. I’m writing this from an undisclosed location and don’t have much time. I can finally see the light at the end of tunnel. My soul is almost pure again. That’s why I’m in hiding. If Rafael finds me he might inject his armageddon soul destroying virus back into me. So for now, I have to stay in hiding.
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Dave image used with permission, courtesy of @ThatFrakkingCat
Episode description written by @AvailableInADHD

Friday, August 5, 2016

Episode 132: Doctor Who & the Brexit Boogaloo

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Depending on who you ask of course. this episode deals mostly with the aftermath of BREXIT with special guest Dr. Squee... And then after all that serious talk there's something about Kevin Costner.


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Dave image used with permission, courtesy of @ThatFrakkingCat
Episode description written by @AvailableInADHD


Friday, July 15, 2016

Episode 131: You can't handle Johnny sounds

This week on We Are Not Here To Please You, the show that brings you fact like information every Tuesday at 9 Am Pacific time on mixlr.com/wearenotheretoplease and eventually is available everywhere else, the guys talk about the most interesting stuff. Great topics that you don’t want to miss. It kind of seems like I’ve just copied a old puff piece about the episode with no real information about the episode. Can you believe that? Shout out to Rick. Wait, are we still doing that?

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Dave image used with permission, courtesy of @ThatFrakkingCat
Episode description written by @wanhtpy or is it?

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Episode 128: Damn Danielson!

You got to feel sorry for the guy. Somehow Damn Danielson is on the show this week. Mostly likely it’s Stockholm Syndrome that brings him. The poor guy used to get tortured by Rafael at a movie store. Luckily for Daniel technology moved on and video stores aren’t a thing anymore. He was living a normal happy life until the day Rafael tracked him down like a bad ex-girlfriend and force him to perform… on a podcast, you sickos.


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Dave image used with permission, courtesy of @ThatFrakkingCat
Episode description written by @AvailableInADHD

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Episode 127: Anywhere but in my mouth

This week on We Are Not Here To Please You, the show that brings you fact like information every Tuesday at 9 Am Pacific time on mixlr.com/wearenotheretoplease and eventually is available everywhere else, the guys talk about the most interesting stuff. Great topics that you don’t want to miss. It kind of seems like I’ve just written a puff piece about the episode with no real information about the episode. Can you believe that? Shout out to Rick. Wait, are we still doing that?
  
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Dave image used with permission, courtesy of @ThatFrakkingCat
Episode description written by @AvailableInADHD

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Episode 130: We Are Orlando

Normally I have fun with these episode descriptions, but this week the guys spend a good portion of the show talking about the Orlando shootings. I really have no words that I think will make what happened better. Tragedies like this spark discussions about gun control, not naming the shooter, and various stand points on religion. The cold hard truth is we live in a world where people hate other people for no fucking good reason and gun control or leaving someone's name of a new article isn't going to fix that. This specific incident is what happens when we don't stand and tell the world there is nothing wrong with being gay, so let's start there.
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Dave image used with permission, courtesy of @ThatFrakkingCat
Episode description written by @AvailableInADHD

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Episode 129: Adam Lash Gigahoes Season 2

Let’s welcome back to the podcast, friend of the program Adam something… Hopefully Rafael will edit in his name and delete this part, but probably he won’t. And so much for that right now… This episode focuses on the upcoming season of Gigahoes, who’s kickstarter you can support right now. Well, somehow they ended up talking about Insane Clown Posse for awhile and never figure out the age old question: Fucking magnets, how do they work? Despite not solving this mystery, a good time was had by all and I assure Rafael is going to put the links for Gigahoes and their kickstarter below. If he doesn’t I’ll start spelling his name as Raphael.

Gigahoes website - www. gigahoes.com

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Dave image used with permission, courtesy of @ThatFrakkingCat
Episode description written by @AvailableInADHD

Monday, June 6, 2016

Episode 126: Retardilantes!

What if I told you this episode was about Netflix suggestions, shooting annoying people with paintball guns, unlocking your iPhone with your penis, or a reality TV series called Sex Factor? Would we still think we are classy as fuck? Well we are. Shout out to Rick.
Episode description written by @AvailableInADHD

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Monday, May 30, 2016

Episode 124: Crop Dusted By A Cow

You're not going to want this episode. That Frakking Cat gets to the root of the problem and Rafael talks about the challenged youth of today. Actually, I think this episode should come with a warning label. There is no quiz and it's still classy as fuck. Shout out to Rick.
Dave image used with permission, courtesy of @ThatFrakkingCat
Episode description written by @AvailableInADHD

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Monday, May 23, 2016

Episode 123: That Classy guy

This week on We Are Not Here To Please You Rafael and That Frakking Cat deal with some very important issues that have been brought to their attention recently. There's also a embarrassing rant where Rafael doesn't know he's a millennial. It's probably better if we don't tell him. Overall, this episode is classy as fuck. Shout out to Rick.
Dave image used with permission, courtesy of @ThatFrakkingCat
Episode description written by @AvailableInADHD

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Monday, May 16, 2016

Episode 122: I Don't Lick Homeless People

Let’s get down to brass tacks, I haven’t even listened to this episode yet. I’m writing this from an undisclosed location and don’t have much time. I can finally see the light at the end of tunnel. My soul is almost pure again. That’s why I’m in hiding. If Rafael finds me he might inject his armageddon soul destroying virus back into me. So for now, I have to stay in hiding. If this doesn’t make any sense to you, I have been putting some secret and some not secret messages into previous episode descriptions. If I don’t recover from this virus I want you all to know that Rafael is the one who killed me and Bohemian Rhapsody is the worst song ever written.
Dave image used with permission, courtesy of @ThatFrakkingCat
Episode description written by @AvailableInADHD
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Thursday, May 12, 2016

Episode 125: The Fort McMurray Episode / Some Superhero Stuff

If you only remember one thing about this episode it's that you should a throw a couple of bucks to the Canadian Red Cross. You can do that here: https://donate.redcross.ca/ea-action/action?ea.client.id=1951&ea.campaign.id=50610&_ga=1.57454634.1050221326.1462896901

Every dollar will be matched by the federal and provincial government so really every dollar you send is like sending three. It will go to helping the almost 100,000 people who have lost their homes in the Fort McMurray fires. Also, we talk about Captain America.
Dave image used with permission, courtesy of @ThatFrakkingCat
Episode description written by @AvailableInADHD

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Monday, May 2, 2016

Episode 121: What the fuck is a Snooki - Johnny goes to the Jersey Shore

Folks, you are in the for the best podcast of your lives right here. Can you believe the most entertaining and handsome guest to ever be on We Are Not Here To Please You is back? That’s right folks, it’s Johnny fucking Whitetrash from such podcasts as Available In ADHD, Beyond The Gimmick, and The Johnny Whitetrash Show… (all of these fine podcasts can be found by searching iTunes, Stitcher, and other major podcast services.) And how does Johnny Whitetrash get treated? The guys might as well have shit on his chest while sticking old dried pieces of clumped up kitty litter up his nose and screaming WE ARE NOT HERE TO PLEASE YOU MOTHERFUCKER! However, that’s not the part that hurt the most. The part that truly hurt was when Rafael infected Johnny with a satanic soul virus. I don’t know how he did it over Skype from Finland, but it happened goddamnit. My soul is still covered in snot and a black liquid I can’t identify. Enjoy the show.

Dave image used with permission, courtesy of @ThatFrakkingCat
Episode description written by @AvailableInADHD

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Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Episode 120: they played Bohemian Rhapsody again

Let’s just be honest about this week’s episode. I did listen to it, that much I know for sure. I don’t remember anything about it though, other than it was the first part of a trilogy. This part takes place when Rafael was feeling the effects of strange mutated hyper virus. The kind of virus that infects your soul instead of your body. I think this virus is what the Christians would call the first sign of the apocalypse. How am I so familiar with this soul infection? The answer is simple. Rafael infected me with this satanic virus, but that’s a story for another day. Maybe next week. For now, sit back and enjoy the sounds of That Frakking Cat and a half dead Rafael. Like I said before, I don’t remember anything about this episode other than laughing out loud while I listened to it. Except for the part when they played Bohemian Rhapsody again. That part sucked.

Dave image used with permission, courtesy of @ThatFrakkingCat
Episode description written by @AvailableInADHD
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Monday, April 18, 2016

Episode 119: Steve McGrew - Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Poon

This week we find out one thing that Rafael is terrible at. Naming country music songs. It's almost like he's not even American. Not even North American. He shows off his ignorance and all 99 of his luftballoons. Luckily for the rest of us, Steve 'Mudflap" Mcgrew and That Frakking Cat are here to be entertaining, and the nail it this week. But let's get down to brass tacks, I probably would have wrote a better episode description if we didn't have to listen to another fucking bullshit version of Bohemian... For fuck's sake. When will it ever end people? When will it end? And so much for that right now... My brain is fried and Steve and Kitty are worth listening too. Rafael on the other hand can stick a ukulele up his ass for all I care.

Dave image used with permission, courtesy of @ThatFrakkingCat
Episode description written by @AvailableInADHD

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Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Episode 118: Hy! is it Bob’s Burgers,The Simpsons or Family Guy?

So it's a fucking game now is it? Put a guy in charge of your writing your episode descriptions and then throw more clips of the worst song ever at him. Now I'm supposed to sit here and remember what the episode was about and all that's going through my head is Bohemian Rhapsody again and the animation of Sonic the Hedgehog losing his rings like when you run into one of those robotic fish in the first level of the second game. The rest of you will love this episode, but my 1 star review is: hi.

Dave image used with permission, courtesy of @ThatFrakkingCat
Episode description written by @AvailableInADHD

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Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Episode 117: Bohemian Rhapsody! SCHWING!

This week Rafael and That Frakking Cat talk about how much they love Bohemian Rhapsody. This just proves you can't trust their taste in music. I mean we all know that Bohemian Rhapsody is the worst song ever, right? The whole reason the song came up was Rafael got press passes to a live Wayne's World event that he's going to put the link to right here: Klick Me . They also get all emo about Finland and Revelstoke Jim before bitching relentlessly about the postal service. The irony of a service not being here to please them. You know who else isn't here to please you? Donald Trump, Kayne West, Mr. Burns and Bond villains as we learn when we play the Who Said It Game.

Dave image used with permission, courtesy of @ThatFrakkingCat
Episode description written by @AvailableInADHD

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Monday, March 7, 2016

Episode 116: Emotional support Albatros

This week on We Are Not Here To Please You: it might seem like old news, some might even say a delayed reaction, but the guys talk about the Fine Bros. Remember them? The only people to make reaction videos ever. The delayed reaction part makes more sense now, doesn't it? Should I be saying reaction so much? If this episode has been taken down, you know why. The guys also talk about 2006. Yeah, it was a real place. I was there. We called it the good old days. Back then we could react to whatever the fuck we wanted without some asshole brothers trying to charge us for reacting. If I sound bitter bitter don't worry, my rat wears a leather harness.

Dave image used with permission, courtesy of @ThatFrakkingCat
Episode description written by @AvailableInADHD

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10 Weird Service Animals(http://www.oddee.com)

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This man says his iguana helps him stay sober and prevents depression. (Source)


A New Yorker reporter took an emotional support alpaca named Sorpresa around Manhattan to see which establishments would allow her in. (Source)


Pizza rat has nothing on this emotional support rodent. (Source)




This traveling turkey, according to various Instagram accounts, has been seen on more than one flight. (Source)


A miniature horse lending support in an Applebees. (Source)


An emotional support pig in Times Square. (Source)


This tiny monkey offers the kind of support that was once only relegated to dogs. (Source)


Leave him alone, he's working. His name is Chief. (Source)


A turtle is a trusty companion on a flight. (Source)


As one Gawker writer said, "If I saw this happening in person, it would not just make my trip or my month or my year, it would make my life." (Source)

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Episode 115: Edumacation Andy aka Andy McElfresh

If We Are Not Here To Please You can't go to Smod Mountain then Smod Mountain must come to We Are Not Here To Please You. What does that even mean? If you're not smart enough to understand the metaphor then we have good news for you: Edumacation Andy is here to make us all smarter. Listen to Andy Edmucate us about his work on Yoga Hosers, dark nuts in your face, getting high on Kevin Smith supply without smoking any himself, and of course there's trivia.

Literally the best episode of We Are Not Here To Please You ever.

Edit: The High Quality version will follow hopefully soon. The file got corrupted and we will try to recover the file.
Dave image used with permission, courtesy of @ThatFrakkingCat

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Monday, January 25, 2016

Episode 114: Brad Williams

We are joined by a stand-up comedian/Actor Brad Williams. We talk about comedy and what happens when you are a little person and encounter a group of asian business men. We ask him things like “Did political correctness and cgi steal all the jobs from little people?”. We round up the episode with a clip of the famous game show “Fuck Off".
 
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